Love Yourself
by Sky High Limits
Summary: Loving yourself is hard. But, maybe knowing someone loves you is the first step to making it easier. Readerx27. Late Valentine's one-shot.


...

Life's so hard.

But, as always, there is someone who has worse than you.

So, I don't have any right to feel sorry for myself, do I?

Because, as always, my life is better than someone else's.

 ** _~L~_**

"Dude, did you finish the homework? That shit was soooo hard." My friend complained right as she came into the classroom and slumped down into her seat beside mine. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Psh, did you even try?" I asked as I pulled out my homework.

"Haha… yes?" Her voice steeped up high into lying levels as her eyes were glued to the papers in my hands.

"Mhm." I pursed my lips at her. "You owe, again. For, like, the hundredth time. Literally." I said as I slid my homework over to her while looking away. Her eyes lit up, and she immediately grabbed it before I could change my mind, which happened often.

"Thanks, my dearest, most precious, bestest friendo~" She said as she went right into copying my homework on her blank sheet. I rolled my eyes at her laziness.

She was a smart girl and could do her work if she really tried, but the thing is, she doesn't.

Must be nice to be able to not care about what others think.

I mentally slapped myself as soon as the thought slipped out.

No, you should be happy with how you are.

"Oh ho, look who just walked in~" I was pulled out of my thoughts as I was stabbed in the side by a pointy elbow.

"Ow." I hissed before looking up to the door to see who walked in.

It was the loudest and most radiant group of probably the whole school. How could anyone miss their entrance? You have the loud, vulgar smartass; the oblivious, constantly laughing sports star; and the "no good," formerly bullied center. An odd group that was formed quickly yet seems to be sticking.

"Gosh, I know you have a crush on the smartass, but do you really have to point out whenever he comes into a room?" I teased before she could tease me.

"S-Shut up!" She hissed as a red hue rose up to her cheeks. "I just thought that a good way to pay you back would be to let you know your love is within viewing distance, so you could appreciate his presence as much as possible."

"…Was that really your best comeback?" I smirked. "Wow, I really got you just now, huh?"

"I said shut up." She pouted. "You're lucky I need to copy your homework."

"Mhm, I win this round." I grinned.

"Dammit." I laughed a little at her despair before turning my attention back to the trio.

My friendo thinks I have a crush on your crowd favorite baseball player because she catches me staring at him constantly.

But I don't.

Rather, I'm jealous of him. He seems easy to get along with, cheerful, like he doesn't have a care in the world, and just plain happy. A lot of things I'm not. And I envy him for that but also aspire to be like him at the same time.

Currently, he's at the front surrounded by girls, which consequently separated him from the other two.

"Please accept my chocolates, Yamamoto-kun!" I deciphered a girl yell as the others were yelling at him as well, probably with similar messages. I paused in listening after I processed the statement.

Oh, it's Valentine's day. I didn't even notice.

I glanced next to me and looked around for chocolates of any variety.

"You don't have any chocolates?" I asked curiously. I got a pair of eyes rolling in response.

"There's no point in having any since he gets more than enough to last a year. I'd just add to a pile of fangirl chocolates." Her voice dipped down in volume and into obvious sadness. I gave a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "It's whatever." She pulled away from my touch, obviously not wanting the pity. "What about you?"

"Well, I didn't even realize it was Valentine's." I bluntly stated. She stared at me incredulously.

"What?!" She yelled in surprise, catching the attention of those around us.

"Did you really need to yell out in shock?" I deadpanned.

"I'm sorry, but how could you not know? Everyone was constantly talking about it." She looked at me like I was some alien that was ignorant of human customs.

"Uh, I ignore them?"

"What about the posters?"

"What posters?"

"What about commercials?"

"Commercials?"

"God! Do you live under some rock or something?!"

"I think that to myself sometimes, too."

"Oh my God. I'm so done with you." She shoved my homework into my hands. "I'm done with your homework, too."

"Your welcome." I rolled my eyes. She just huffed in return before turning to one of her other friends.

Geez, why was Valentine's Day such a big deal anyway? I know it's to celebrate love, especially the romantic kind, but is it really necessary? Lovers celebrate with anniversaries. Why is there a need to have another day like that to worry about? Besides, those who don't have a Valentine or receive chocolates just feel lonely and sorry for themselves, thus causing the opposite of what the day is suppose to celebrate.

Anyway, I threw my attention back to the front. Yamamoto seemed to be happily taking everyone's chocolates with genuine gratitude, causing his smile to infect pretty much everyone else in the room. Well, except for someone.

"These fucking annoying girls need to fuck the hell off." I heard the vulgar mouth hiss as he looked at the loads of chocolate all on and around his desk.

Hey, he didn't call them bitches. At least he's being a somewhat decent guy today.

I sneakily looked up at his face since his desk just so happened to be one desk over.

He has a frown on his face, but I could see through that tough guy façade. He was happy on the inside. I couldn't help the chuckle that came out, which immediately caught his attention. I quickly looked away, so he didn't catch me staring at him.

"Tch." He glared at me but didn't say anything.

Hm, I wonder where number three is?

I glanced around and looked for the brown fluffy head.

Ah, of course.

He was at his desk, currently looking at Ms. Idol with heart eyes. I could practically read his mind. 'I wish Kyoko-chan would give me chocolates.'

I sighed.

I wonder if being in love is a nice thing?

I mean, it certainly is glorified in society. So, is it really as amazing as movies and books make it out to be? I wouldn't know. Besides, isn't it said that you should love yourself first before you love someone else?

Hah, wonder when that'll happen.

 ** _~O~_**

"Hey, are you heading to the back again?" The daily question hit my ears as I was packing my books and getting ready to leave and eat my lunch.

"Yup." I simply answered as I stood up with my lunch in hand.

"Okay." I could hear the concern, as always. "I'll be here."

I nodded, just as I do every day, and then left the classroom.

Everyday, since I kinda freaked out the first day, I go to an area behind the school. It's peaceful with a nice tree for shade and open enough for the breeze to blow through. But, most importantly, it was quiet and isolated.

Well, except for today, apparently.

Right as I was about to turn the corner of the building my area was behind, I heard voices.

So much for quiet and isolated.

From what I could hear, it seemed a girl was confessing to someone. I peeked from behind the corner to get a better idea of what was happening.

"Please at least accept my chocolate! I understand if you can't accept my feelings." The girl was bowing at a 90 degree angle, not looking at the guy, with her hands outstretched before her where the said chocolate rested upon.

"…" I couldn't see the guy's face, but based on his response, or lack of response I should say, he didn't seem to reciprocate her feelings. "…I'm sorry." The guy also bowed and walked past her.

Ouch.

The girl stayed frozen stiff in her position until the boy's footsteps could no longer be heard. Then, she dropped the chocolate. Oh, she, herself, dropped as well. Right onto her knees. Her hands covered her face as she kneeled over into a fetal position. Or was that the turtle position? Either way, she looked miserable. She sounded miserable, too, with sobs resounding in the once again isolated area.

Yeah, love looks great.

If this is what love looks like, then maybe I already love myself.

I rolled my eyes at the thought.

Well, guess I have to find somewhere else to go since my space is currently being occupied by a heartbroken girl.

My roaming led me to the rooftop, where hopefully no confession is going wrong like someplace I know.

I cautiously cracked the door open slightly to see if there was such a scene.

Nope.

However.

There was something much more… concerning?

"Looks like we have company." The squeaky voice said, clearly directed at me.

"Nope." I closed the door and walked down the stairs.

I'll just eat lunch in the courtyard or something.

"WAIT!" I stopped and squeezed my eyes shut. This can't be good.

"Yes?" I turned to look up the stairs with a polite smile. I was met with an apprehensive pair of chocolatey brown eyes.

Hah, chocolate.

"Uh, um, er-"

"As much as I would love to hear you stutter from the panicked state you appear to be in, I have food that needs to be consumed. Preferably by me and in the timespan of lunchtime." I slightly bowed and turned to leave again.

"Wha-No, wait!-"

Oh no.

Really.

"For fuck's sake." I managed to mutter before a body collided with mine.

And thus we fell down the staircase together. I did my best to protect my lunch, but alas, thy meal was not meant for survival nor for its short life goal of being devoured by yours truly.

Oh, and thy head was not meant to go undamaged, too, apparently.

 _ **~V~**_

I opened my eyes to see I was in the nurse's office. I sighed.

I know I don't particularly love my body, but that doesn't mean I want it to be harmed.

Mostly because that hurts me.

Anyway, I wasn't alone.

"You're finally awake." The baby voice made its way to my ears again.

"Was I out for long?" I asked as I sat up to get a better look at the baby(?).

He was currently sitting on a stool next to my bed, sipping on an espresso (? again). The baby was dressed sharply in a black suit and a fedora with a green lizard (chameleon?) resting on the rim. But what was really striking was the dark, piercing orbs that let on a maturity way beyond that of most normal adults, let alone a baby.

"You missed a period of class."

"I see." I simply said, not knowing what else there was to say.

"You seem to be taking this well." The baby commented as he lazily sipped his coffee.

"Really? Maybe it's because I don't have much a care."

 _'…about myself.'_ was left hanging in the air.

"I see."

I didn't doubt he could. Those piercing eyes seemed like they knew everything about me just by the few minutes he's observed me. It was… discomforting, to say the least.

"I apologize for my no good student's clumsy actions earlier." The statement brought me out my mind.

"Student?" I knew he was talking about Tsunayoshi Sawada the second he said "no good."

"Yes. He is currently training to be the boss of the strongest mafia organization in the world."

"Oh."

Am I still out cold?

"No. You're awake."

"…I see."

And we sat in silence for a minute before I got too uncomfortable to stay any longer.

"Well, I should go to class since I feel fine." I said with a polite smile as I put on my shoes.

"Really? Because you don't seem to be feeling fine to me." I froze from the tone that obviously let on that he was not talking about my head.

"…I have no idea what you are talking about." I resumed slipping on my shoes and standing up, pretending to be unfazed by the confronting words I have always steered clear from.

"Yes, you do."

I looked at the perceptive "baby" to deny him again but found those black pits of eyes annihilating any comprehensive thought going through my mind and coming out my mouth. I stared thoughtlessly into those voids for who knows how long before the door to the nurse's office slightly slid open.

"I-Is she alright?" The worried whisper drifted in as the door continued to open, revealing the one who led me to being in the situation I am currently in.

"Yes, I am." I responded as I dusted off invisible particles from my uniform. "There's nothing to worry about." I directly looked at the baby as I said this.

"I-I see." Sawada's eyes flitted between me and the baby, uneasiness clear in his expression. "So, you've met Reborn."

Oh, so his name is Reborn.

"An interesting name." I commented as the baby named Reborn and I continued having a staring contest.

Suddenly, he broke off the contest and turned to the only audience member we had witnessing our little contest.

"Dame-Tsuna, take her back to class." He simply commanded before jumping out the window.

I blinked before looking to Sawada for his reaction. He just looked concerned for me, not the baby that jumped out the window, so I think its safe to assume him not to be dead.

"I'm s-sorry for everything. You can just forget about Reborn. Hahah." Sawada sheepishly laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I think that'd be for the best." I muttered as I looked at the window one last time before turning to the tense boy.

"So, uh, what did he talk to you about?" Tsuna cautiously asked. I narrowed my eyes at him before walking past him into the hallway.

"Oh, right. He did mention you're his student currently training to be the boss of some all powerful mafia group." I casually mentioned in the luckily empty hallway. I guess class was in session.

I heard the footsteps behind me stop, so I stopped as well and turned around.

"…" There seemed to be a wide range of emotions going through the boy at the moment. His face morphed from surprised to confused to angry, which was a sight I never thought I would behold, to sad.

"Sawada-kun?" I walked back towards the boy with slight concern.

What was going through his head that provoked so many emotions?

"Ah." He snapped out of it once I stood right before him. "I-Is that all he said?" I continued to gaze at him with concern and confusion.

"Pretty much. Is it true?" I tilted my head in question.

Tsuna gave a tired chuckle in return.

"Yeah." The sudden maturity and strength that emanated from the once weak bully victim threw me off. "It is. I don't know why Reborn would tell you, but because he did, it pretty much means you're going to be involved, too."

 _Whut._

"Excuse me?" My pitch rose along with my eyebrows.

"Reborn doesn't just tell anyone. So far, whoever's been told or found out are now tied with the mafia in some way." Sawada's words seemed so far all of a sudden.

"…I see." I looked down at the simple floor, wishing I felt that simple. "But what could I possibly contribute to the mafia? I'm just a normal girl." Who thinks the world wouldn't be any different without her. So, why in the world would the underworld want useless trash?

"Haha, I thought the same thing when Reborn first showed up and told me I was going to be the boss of some big mafia group." Tsuna lightly laughed as he rubbed his head. "But, here I am now."

"Yeah." As I looked more closely at Sawada, I noticed the changes.

His hands seemed rough and his arms actually had some defined muscles I never noticed before. There were also a few faint scars scattered around his body that I could see. You could tell he held more confidence in himself from the way his posture is now. But, most importantly, he no longer had the timid, fear-filled eyes from before. They were motivated and strong yet still soft and caring. The changes were so slight and gradual that I would have never noticed if I didn't closely observe them like now.

"Wow." I intelligently communicated my feelings out loud.

"Huh?" I mentally facepalmed when I heard the response.

"I mean, I can see the differences." I felt my cheeks heat up from embarrassment, so I looked away. "You're definitely not the same Sawada that was bullied before."

"R-Really?" I simply nodded. "Ah, w-well, we should get back to c-class." I nodded again.

And so, we walked back to class in awkward silence.

 _ **~E~**_

After the bell rung, I walked to my shoe locker alone since I didn't go to a club like almost every student does. I just never saw a reason to join one. None particularly interested me. Anyway, I walked to my locker and opened it only to have a folded paper flutter out. Confused, I bent down to pick it up.

I was relieved no one was around to see my jaw drop to the floor and my eyes bulge out of my head.

This. Was. A. _Love. Note._

It was clearly a guy's handwriting. Scribbled on the pink, small paper was a message asking me to meet him at the back of the school.

But who would write something like this to me? I'm not lovable. I'm not cute. I'm not outgoing. How could someone possibly be attracted to me?

How could someone love me if I didn't even love myself?

Maybe he sees something in me that I don't see in myself? Am I actually likable?

Could he show me how to love myself?

After staring at the little piece of paper, I snapped out of my thoughts and slipped my shoes on. Hurriedly, I walked out the school and headed straight to the back, hopeful. I didn't even notice anything else around me as I was still in shock yet excited. My heart was already racing.

I had to fight the smile that kept threatening to slip out.

Once I turned the corner of the building, I saw him. His back was turned, but he was the only one there. It must be him.

I swallowed and took a breath before walking over.

"H-Hi." I was shocked at how soft and nervous my voice sounded.

The boy whipped around and looked at me, a blush very apparent on his cheeks. I felt my heart jump at the expression, and my hands gripped the paper tighter. As I felt my face slowly heat up, my eyes drifted to the floor.

"Uh, y-you left this in my locker?" My voice was so pitched that my toned turned what was suppose to be a statement into a question.

"Huh?" Too nervous to look up and in the moment, I thought nothing of the shocked tone.

"Y-Yeah. So, is there s-something you wanted to tell m-me?"

"Wait, wait, wait." The guy said hysterically.

It was then that I finally looked up to see the expression from before completely gone and replaced with an annoyed and surprised one.

He snatched the paper from my hands and quickly looked at it before smacking his forehead. He groaned in what could only be exasperation.

I felt my heart stop.

"This wasn't meant for you! I must have been so nervous I put it in the wrong fucking locker." The guy explained more to himself than me. "Dammit."

"Oh."

"Yeah. "Oh." Shit, she must've left by now!" The guy grew more frustrated with himself as his mistake settled in.

"…"

"Look, you're not bad, but you're not good either, ya know? You're just… plain." The guy said this nonchalantly, not realizing how detrimental the words he spouted were. "Then again, I don't think any guy here actually thinks you're cute." His mind seemed to have forgotten about the girl he "loved" while he informed me of my defects I was already aware of.

"Maybe you're just not lovable?"

My heart went from stopped to dropping from the face of the Earth.

"Anyway, sorry! I gotta go!" The guy casually ran pass me, probably to go to the one he actually loved.

Me? I just dropped to the ground along with my heart.

Huh. This must be how the girl earlier felt.

The joy of love.

Ahhh, why did I even think the letter was for me? That was so idiotic of me to think. I can't believe I felt so giddy and excited. I should have known it was a mistake. There's no way someone would write a love letter to me. Like he said, I'm just some plain, not cute, and unlovable girl. I shouldn't be surprised by this outcome.

I mean, like I said before, if I can't even love myself, why would someone else love me?

I was so painfully deep in thought that I didn't notice anything around me. Not the feeling of the grass against my shins, the soft wind blowing my hair, the sound of athletes practicing, or the wetness that ran down my cheeks. I also didn't notice that someone was approaching.

"Geez, why is Reborn making me come back here?" Tsuna obliviously complained under his breath as he turned the corner to the back of the school. "This better be…" Tsuna trailed off as he saw a figure sunken to the ground in anguish. It took him a second to realize it was a familiar figure. Once he realized, he dashed over.

"Hey, w-what's wrong?" Tsuna asked awkwardly as he has never really spoken to the girl outside of class besides earlier that day. "Did s-something happen?"

"…" When he received no response, he leaned over to see her face as her back was facing him.

"!?" Some squeak came out as he saw the tears and absolute grief on her face.

And what did he do?

Why, panic, of course.

He stood shocked as his mind went blank for a second before spiraling around in a panic. Until she suddenly stood up. "?"

At this point I realized Tsuna was there, but I chose to ignore him. I don't know why he was here or why he's freaking out, but I don't care. I just want to go home and lay in bed for a while.

"U-Uhm?" I turned to meet his gaze since he seemed to so desperately want my attention for some reason.

"What?" Ah, my voice cracked, and my throat felt tight. Am I crying?

"Are you o-okay?" As Tsuna asked with concern, I raised my hand to touch my cheek to find it wet, confirming that I was indeed crying.

"Yeah." I managed to push through my restricted throat. And I turned to leave.

"W-Wait!" Tsuna grabbed my shoulder, and I just let him turn me back around. "You are clearly not okay."

I felt too tired to answer back. I didn't even try to lift my head to see his expression. Why won't he just let me go home?

"What happened? Why are you back here crying on the ground?" Tsuna asked while still holding onto my shoulder. I mentally sighed since my breathing was too unstable to do it physically.

Might as well answer since he most likely won't let me go until I do.

Then I noticed something.

Why does he care? He doesn't even know me yet he's asking like he cares.

"W-Why?" My voice hiccupped.

"Huh?" His full attention was on me, probably trying to figure out a way to cure my sadness.

"Why d-do you ca-are?" I asked as I unconsciously lifted my head to look him in the eyes.

"W-Well, I, uh, I c-can't just leave a classmate crying alone." Tsuna seemed flustered from the question.

"Mm." I guess that makes sense. He does seem like that kind of guy.

Tsuna frowned at my response, concern gleaming in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked in a soft, angelic voice. I mentally sighed again.

"It-" And there goes my voice as thoughts came back.

Tsuna let go of my shoulder as tears started running down my cheeks again. I could see the panic in his eyes and mentally smacked myself for stressing him out over my own problems. He has nothing to do with this and yet he's suffering for no reason.

I wiped the tears from my face and swallowed the tightness in my throat.

"I told you. I'm okay." I said as I unconvincingly had to keep rubbing beneath my eyes.

"…" Ah, the panic has turned to pain. Good going.

"Look, I-" I was cut off by cloth blocking my mouth.

It, no, he was warm.

My throat restricted again, not allowing me to say anything again. Tears were flowing nonstop all over his shoulder, but I couldn't stop. Out of weakness, I clutched onto him and buried my face into his shoulder.

Dammit. I don't want to trouble him, but I don't want him to stop. It's just so damn warm and comforting. It felt like the world was so far away and the only thing that mattered was this embrace. Forget about sadness, love, and whatever else. My mind was clear and only right now mattered.

"I understand if you don't want to tell me what's going on, but don't try to just ignore the problem." I could feel his voice rumble from his chest. "If you have no one else to turn to, I'm here."

"…" I just nodded my head against his shoulder.

"A-And-" Tsuna cleared his voice. "E-Even though we might just be classmates, I still really care about you." He sighed as he rubbed comforting circles on my back. "You were one person who never said anything bad about me when I was bullied, s-so I'd find myself glancing at you every once and a while out of curiosity." Tsuna tightened his grip. "I noticed that you looked so lonely and sad. But I could never get the courage to ask you why. All I could do was just look on in concern… And I hate that that's what I did. There should have been something I could have done back then, but I was too much of a coward to try to even think of anything. But I'm different now. You even said so yourself earlier. So, if you don't mind telling me, what's wrong?"

I could finally breathe.

"I…" I let go of him and brought myself to face him. "Tsuna, am I…"

Ah, I feel embarrassed to say it out loud.

"Are you?" Tsuna asked with genuine concern. I bit my lip before squeezing my eyes shut.

"Am I unlovable?" I pushed out quickly as I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

"…" He was clearly taken off guard by the question.

"…A…ha…Ahahaha! J-Just joking!" I turned around to run away. "I-I gotta go!"

"N-No! Wait!" Tsuna swiftly grasped my shoulder and turned me back around. "S-Sorry, I was just surprised!"

I bit my lip and crossed my arms since I felt exposed.

"So?" I mumbled.

"S-So?" I puffed out my cheeks at the startled response.

"Are you gonna answer or not?!" I was feeling more and more mortified as this went on.

"U-Uh, w-well…" Tsuna kept stalling. "Urm, u-umm-"

"Tsk, tsk. Still Dame-Tsuna I see."

"Wha-" The baby from earlier dropped from out of nowhere onto Tsuna's head.

"Be a man and say it, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn stomped on Tsuna's head, which appeared to be painful as Tsuna flinched from the abuse.

"OW! Reborn!" Tsuna frowned before shaking his head. "B-But, you're right." He looked me straight in the eye. "Y/N, you are lovable. I don't know where you got the idea that you're not, but I'm sure there are people who love you! Like your family and friends! And even if they don't, I do." Tsuna smiled.

"Y-You love me?" I didn't know I could blush any harder than I already was.

"Eh?" The smile fell from his lips as his eyes widened. "N-NO, NO, NO! I-I meant-"

"Shut up, Dame-Tsuna, before you make things worse." Reborn pulled on his hair.

"OW!"

"Let's go. You have training and homework to do." Reborn distantly stated as he took a seat on Tsuna's head.

"B-But you-"

"Dame-Tsuna." Reborn said in a dark tone that sucked away the heat from both Tsuna's and my faces.

"Yes!" Tsuna's voice went into a high pitch I didn't even know was possible for boys to reach. "I-I'll see you later!" Tsuna quickly bid his farewell before running off.

I watched until he receded from my sight. Even when he was gone for a few minutes, the flush on my face didn't die down. I puffed out my cheeks before slapping them.

"Stop blushing." I muttered to myself. When I realized I wouldn't, I sighed and took a seat on the ground while leaning my back onto the building.

"…He said I was lovable." I whispered as I stared at the clouds that lazily floated by in the blue sky. "Can I believe him?"

I mean, he said it so sincerely. And Tsuna wasn't one to lie like that. Well, at least from what I know about him. Besides, he never gave me a reason not to believe in him. Sure, he can be oblivious and cowardly, but he certainly isn't a liar.

So, I can believe him, right?

I'm not completely unlovable.

I smiled slightly.

"So much for wanting to love myself before loving someone else." I sighed in disappointment with myself. "With Tsuna of all people, too." I chuckled. "Never saw that coming."

Well, even if he doesn't really return my feelings, that's fine. I mean, he has his heart set on Kyoko after all, and I'm nothing compared to her popular, cute, and kind personality. But, I'm sure through this experience I'll learn to love myself and move on.

"Even if I don't move on, I think that's fine." I said with a rueful smile as I stood up. "After all, I never did think I'd actually have someone, so it's fine."

My blush seemed to have finally died down, so I should head home.

Maybe I should give Tsuna some chocolates as thanks tomorrow. I don't think he received any at school. I'll have to make it clear that it's not confession chocolate, though, since he'll freak out for sure.

I smiled at the thought.

Or maybe it should be.

 _ **~ End ~**_

 **A/N: Just a little one-shot since I felt like writing. I actually had this ready to post on Valentine's Day, but... it just didn't happen. XD Hope you enjoyed even if it's a little late! I also hope you enjoyed the day with loved ones (this can a be a lover, family, friends, anime characters, etc. XD) and had some sweets~**


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